As far as shameful episodes in Los Angeles history go, there is little to match the injustice of Paris Hilton's incarceration in 2007. You will remember the news images: the disbelief at the verdict, the suspicion that the LAPD were engaged in racial profiling to the detriment of rich white girls. You will recall the disenfranchised population of Bel Air turning to civil disobedience, before the riots spread to Beverly Hills and threatened to engulf West Hollywood. And you will never forget a young woman, quite unprepared for her role as a cause celebre, appealing for, like, calm or whatevs.
What you will always have wondered is: will Paris ever write a dance track about this?
Amazingly, she has. It is called Jailhouse Baby, and the celebutante has just confirmed it will appear on her new album (though you can already hear her singing a totally ear-watering version of it on YouTube).
And so to Jailhouse Baby's opening lines.
"Seeing it on MTV/ All cameras's focused on me/ Helicopters up above/ Oh what a travesty/ There's a crazy world at war/ right outside of my front door/ They're wasting time on me/ I'm just a jailhouse baby."
Or how about a later verse?
"All those lonely nights of terror/ I thank you for your letters/ Words from around the world/ for the lonely little jail bird/ Still haunted by nightmares/ why's the system so unfair?/ But I'm stronger than before/ No I'm no longer scared."
Think you broke a butterfly on a wheel, LA? Think again.
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