How to be most sought after profile online and impress readers

When writing our online profiles, too many of us spend too much time talking about our ideal match. You know, what they’d look like, what their personality would be like, their favorite book, movie, ice-cream flavor and so forth.

But those reading your profile want to know more about you—because they’re the ones doing the shopping. This means you’ll be more successful attracting the right people if you spend a bit of time and energy selling yourself, awkward as that may sound. Don’t feel comfortable blowing your own horn? Realise there are those who want to be with someone just like you if you spend more profile time selling yourself than advertising for someone else. Here’s how:
1. Get over yourself
The first step is seeing yourself differently, counsels professional story-teller, Catherine Conant. That will necessarily steer you clear of the same old generic language. “We tend to find refuge in generic language that allows us to be ‘one of a type’ instead of staking our rightful place as a person of genuine and unique value,” she says. Ask friends to describe what sets you apart from others. Then play off what they say to come up with your own vision of yourself.

2. Write your own story
The best way to start is to write a paragraph or two about yourself as a “test drive” before you tackle your profile. Says Conant: “Your story should illustrate something of who you are and what you hold important,” and getting it down on paper will help you get at the “essence of you” that you want to communicate. For instance, says Conant, “you might write, ‘My grandfather was a really important person in my life. I watched him struggle his whole life, but he never said a bad word about anyone. He loved to make us laugh and I watched him do hundreds of small acts of kindness without expecting anything in return. I think he was one of the most important teachers I ever had.’ Without taking credit for anything,” she points out, “you are stating something insightful about what you’re offering in a relationship.” You can then shape and edit that insight to work in your profile.

3. Sell, don’t advertise
“I was so busy focusing on what I wanted in a woman — a love of sports, no neediness, a desire to have kids — that I didn’t give a lot of clues about who I was as a potential mate,” says Wayne Robbins. That changed when his sister enumerated the good qualities of a woman she wanted to set him up with. “It hit me like a tonne of bricks that she never said one thing about what the woman wanted in me,” he recalls. “She was telling me the things she thought I would appreciate about her. After that I redid my profile to focus more on my good qualities, versus what I was seeking.” A few weeks later, he got an email from a woman he’s been dating now for over six months.

4. Stand out
So many people try to be everything to everyone, “the surest sign of insecurity,” notes branding expert Rob Frankel, the author of The Revenge of Brand X. You want to appear uniquely qualified and confident. “Sign on to your singles service as someone of the opposite sex and look at the people competing with you. You’ll be amazed at how many women and men say the same thing as the people right next to them. Then do exactly what they don’t do,” says Frankel, so you’ll stand out.

5. Extend the quality to your headline
Your headline is like your profile’s hand shake. It makes — or breaks — the first impression. So it needs to be high-quality, too. “Headlines speak volumes about you, perhaps beyond what you realise,” points out Mary Jo Fay, the author of When Your “Perfect Partner” Goes Perfectly Wrong. “You want to avoid things like ‘Oh-So-Lonely’ or “Captain Thigh Biter.’ I’ve really seen those, and they bring a lot of negative baggage.”

Yes, it takes time and energy and honesty to write a profile that really works well for you. The process may feel a little weird at first, but the results are worth it, Conant says. “To honestly know and claim your own gifts is to have a great advantage.” And, when you’re dating online, it could be what brings you into contact with your special someone.

sexy careers you can bank on

Depending on where you work and whom you work with, the words "sexy" and "job" shouldn't share a sentence. Even if you check all romantic notions at the door when you punch your time card, not everyone does.

Plenty of people are just as attractive as -- or more attractive than -- the profession they choose. Not just the obvious picks, such as athletes, doctors or models, but also some whose attractive quotients rise when they're on the clock.

Here are 10 careers that have more sex appeal than you probably realize:

1. Administrative assistants
When you visit almost any workplace, a smiling administrative assistant greets you. Very often you don't know if you're in the right place, whom you need to speak with or even what you need to do. Administrative assistants know the answers and, because they're your first points of contact, they have to be well-groomed and kind to visitors. Knowledge, good looks, a nice personality and helpfulness? Yes, please. And since they frequently work closely with high-level executives who value their opinions, they often possess a hidden but large cache of power. Administrative assistants pretty much have the whole package.

2. Baristas
If you're one of those coffee drinkers who don't speak to anyone and whom nobody wants to speak to until you've had your morning cup, is any occupation more attractive than barista? Before the sun rises, baristas are hard at work and ready to serve you with a smile. They understand your special ordering language and don a uniform, even if it consists of only casual clothes with an apron and cap. And no cologne or perfume they buy will ever be more alluring than the aroma of coffee that blankets them even after they leave work.

3. Hairstylists
Getting your hair cut is an intimate affair: The stylist's hands are all over your head, and your face is fairly close to his or her torso at all times. In any other circumstance, you'd consider such proximity a violation of personal space. But stylists have an ability to make you feel comfortable enough to talk about your personal life, and when you find the perfect one, you don't want anyone else touching your hair. Throw in a scalp massage and you're putty in their hands.

4. Disc Jockey
Clubs are teeming with sexy people (or at least people trying to be sexy), which means you've got a room full of perfumes, colognes, too much makeup, bad hairstyles and stumbling drunks. It's enough to make you turn around and walk away. But once you catch a glimpse of the stylish guy or gal in the booth who's spinning records (or hitting buttons on a laptop) and making the crowd dance, you suddenly want to stay. DJs possess one of those quirky talents we all wish we had and they look cool doing it. Bonus points if you catch his or her eye and get a song played for you.

5. IT workers
Although IT workers have earned a bad reputation for not understanding the plight of the computer-illiterate worker, they aren't the office villains some people have made them out to be. And if power is sexy, then these men and women probably outrank everyone. Whether you're low on the totem pole or an executive, if you can't open your e-mail account or figure out why your monitor is flickering, you call IT. In many offices, IT workers have the most lax dress code of all the departments, so you can't help but envy them.

6. Mail carriers
Mail carriers spend their days walking from house to house to deliver letters and packages, guaranteeing their legs look nice in those signature navy blue shorts. You know carriers are determined and trustworthy, seeing as they come to your house regardless of the weather and (hopefully) none of your letters are ever opened. Wouldn't most of us rather stay home on cold days and read personal letters and magazines from our bags?

7. Personal trainers
Personal trainers are in better shape than any of us will ever be, and that alone is sexy. What's more attractive is their determination to help their clients reach a goal. Whether you're excited or terrified when you hire a trainer, you'll be ready to keep the spare tire after a few weeks. Trainers are there to help you ignore that burning pain in your abs and the sweat stinging your eyes. Sure, you want to punch them when they call you a quitter, but their tough love helps you take that long, sweaty journey to fitness.

8. Photographers
Artsy types get a boost in the sexy department for having a strong sense of style and a unique perspective on the world. Even among artists, photographers stand out because they stay behind the camera, finding beauty in unconventional and overlooked places. Their willingness to stay out of the spotlight and focus their attention on someone else is endearing.

9. Psychologists
Whether or not you find your psychologist sexy is a personal matter that you might want to take up with him or her. But as a rule, people want to be heard and they like to talk about themselves, and psychologists make a living listening to people talk about themselves. They also help you solve your most pressing issues and you can rely on them for support (for a hefty fee, of course). What more could you want?

10. University professors
Behold the power of intellect: Someone who wasn't even on your romantic radar suddenly becomes the target of your affection when you find out he or she is intelligent -- or at least could be. Being a professor doesn't make anyone an automatic genius, but chances are these academics have expertise in at least one field, can speak a second or third language and have ambition (seeing as they spent a hefty portion of their time earning a few degrees). Plus, if anyone can make glasses go from nerdy to sexy, they can.

Love Hewitt Wins Restraining Order Against 'Stalker'

Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt has been granted a restraining order against an alleged stalker.

The "Ghost Whisperer" star filed a petition against David Nolte, 62, in December at Los Angeles Superior Court, stating she feared for her physical safety after he turned up at her mother's house bearing letters and flowers.

According to court documents, Love Hewitt allegedly received letters from Nolte describing "delusional and violent fantasies about having sexual relations with Ms. Hewitt. ... marring her, impaling her and envisioning her fiance with his head blown off."

Love Hewitt had also allegedly received plane tickets to Australia from Nolte, as well an itinerary for a trip he had planned for the two of them.

The restraining order, issued on Monday, orders Nolte to stay away from the star, her mother and her former fiance, Ross McCall, for three years.

Kidman Refutes 'Australia' Criticism

Hollywood actress Nicole Kidman has hit back at reports she is unhappy with her performance in new movie "Australia," insisting her comments have been misinterpreted by the media.

The star appears opposite Hugh Jackman in the Baz Luhrmann epic, which opened last month to mixed reviews.

Kidman was recently quoted as saying that she "can't look at this movie and be proud of what I've done", adding that she couldn't "connect to it emotionally."

But the actress is adamant her comments, in an interview with Sydney radio station 2day FM, were taken out of context, because she was actually referring to her whole body of work, claiming she can never bear to watch herself onscreen.

A representative for Kidman tells the Sydney Morning Herald, "It is quite ridiculous for anyone to believe the reports if they listened to the actual interview. It's hard to believe some of the world's media have fallen for it.

After Palin,Leslie,Britney,Obama,its Hilton victims of online hackers

Hackers have once again targeted Paris Hilton -- her official Web site has reportedly been infected with a vicious computer virus.

The socialite's site, ParisHilton.com, is said to have been hit by a malicious program that attaches itself to the computers of anyone visiting the site.

Any fans using the page are at risk of falling victim to the virus, which can steal their online bank details, according to OK! magazine.

Hilton was previously the victim of online crime in 2006, when hackers unlocked her cell phone and posted her contact list on the Internet.

Paris Hilton upbeat about her new album on her jailbird days

As far as shameful episodes in Los Angeles history go, there is little to match the injustice of Paris Hilton's incarceration in 2007. You will remember the news images: the disbelief at the verdict, the suspicion that the LAPD were engaged in racial profiling to the detriment of rich white girls. You will recall the disenfranchised population of Bel Air turning to civil disobedience, before the riots spread to Beverly Hills and threatened to engulf West Hollywood. And you will never forget a young woman, quite unprepared for her role as a cause celebre, appealing for, like, calm or whatevs.

What you will always have wondered is: will Paris ever write a dance track about this?

Amazingly, she has. It is called Jailhouse Baby, and the celebutante has just confirmed it will appear on her new album (though you can already hear her singing a totally ear-watering version of it on YouTube).

And so to Jailhouse Baby's opening lines.

"Seeing it on MTV/ All cameras's focused on me/ Helicopters up above/ Oh what a travesty/ There's a crazy world at war/ right outside of my front door/ They're wasting time on me/ I'm just a jailhouse baby."

Or how about a later verse?

"All those lonely nights of terror/ I thank you for your letters/ Words from around the world/ for the lonely little jail bird/ Still haunted by nightmares/ why's the system so unfair?/ But I'm stronger than before/ No I'm no longer scared."

Think you broke a butterfly on a wheel, LA? Think again.

I Work Just as Hard as Scarlett, Whines Job-Needing Lindsay

Lindsay Lohan is supposedly still on the wagon, but that hasn't stopped her from uncorking a mighty fine whine.
"You know what's hard?" the underemployed, drama-addicted starlet, 22, bellyaches in the February issue of Interview (the chat was conducted by Lauren Hutton). "I want to give back. I want to do all the things that will make me feel fulfilled. But whenever I do those things, people think it's a press stunt or something."
Lohan, who reportedly rang in the new year by publicly brawling with squeeze Samantha Ronson, blames the paparazzi for making her life difficult, insisting that "there's really no way of hiding from that," even though actual do-gooders such as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are able to disappear -- with six kids in tow -- for extended periods of time.
When Hutton suggests that she go somewhere "where no one knows you," Lindsay sighs that "it's so impossible for me to actually do that," citing as evidence her November trip to Dubai for a swanky hotel opening, a star-packed soiree that drew everyone from Mary-Kate Olsen to Robert De Niro, not exactly the place to get away from it all.
"But the second that you complain about it, they say, 'Well, this is what you wanted, so this is what you're going to get.' That's all people see it as now. It's not, 'No, I just want to have some time for myself,'" she grouses, seemingly oblivious to her complete inability to stay away from the spotlight and enjoy a quiet night at home with a cup of cocoa and a good book. "There are things I want to do, and people don't understand that. You know, my car accident that I got into where I got my first charge, I wouldn't have been speeding up like I was if I didn't have people shoving cameras in my windows."
Lindsay appears to be referring to her May 2007 arrest for DUI after she curbed her Mercedes ("my favorite car," she points out, "which I worked my ass off to buy for myself") in Beverly Hills after a night on the town. Soon after, she entered rehab for the second of three times that year.

Lindsay gets her groove on at a London club last November. (©Retna Ltd.)
"I have become this girl who just loves to be photographed, doesn't know how to focus, doesn't know how to work on set, just loves the attention, knows how to go out at night, knows how to party," she fumes. "And you know what? I was 20 years old. I never went to college. I lived maybe six months out of my life like that, doing something wrong, and then I stopped. God forbid I should have ever learned my lesson. But at this point it's so hard for people to even believe that there was a lesson to be learned at all, because they just think I'm wrong."
And while some might question Lohan's math on that six-months-of-her-life figure (apropos of nothing, she was accused of bad behavior in October while guest-starring on "Ugly Betty," with her planned six episodes getting cut to four), she sighs that she can't shake her tabloid-stoked reputation.
"I just feel as though it's become a situation where people have manifested this caricature of who I am, and they act as if there's no real person inside of it," she gripes (although props for the five-dollar phrase "manifested this caricature"). "I mean, people really have come to believe -- directors, producers, agents, whoever it may be -- that I started in this because I wanted to be a celebrity. But that was never my intention."
What hurts the most, moans the actress, who has spent much of the last several months fighting with Ronson at hot spots around the globe and posting defensive messages on her MySpace page, "is that I work just as hard as any other actress around my age, like Scarlett Johansson, but I just don't get the opportunities that they get because people are so distracted by the mess that I created in my life. But that doesn't mean it's going to last forever."
(By the by, the reference to the Woody Allen-beloved starlet comes three years after Lohan reportedly scrawled a decidedly nasty dig at her in a bathroom stall at a New York bar. "I don't really know that person," Scarlett sniffed in the December issue of Allure. "I don't know what the motivation was.")
Lindsay also name-drops Heath Ledger in the chat, recalling some words of wisdom he gave her on fame: "He said, 'It's build you up to knock you down, and that's all it is. And you just have to see if you can stand through it.' And it is like that, if you put yourself in this situation. I was young, so maybe I did ... I always wanted to take the blame. I've always been apologetic for other people's faults."
She continues, "And I didn't even try everything. I was too afraid. The one thing I tried was the wrong thing. And maybe it was just because I'd seen someone else in my family do it -- not my mother. But, I don't know, it really ... It sucks."
Perhaps with all the free time she's had on her hands lately, Lohan should consider enrolling in a few film study classes, if only to mix with a more cinematically erudite crowd.

"I wanted to be a movie star. But movie stars are not what they used to be ... I don't think there are too many films coming out these days that we're going to look at in the future and say, 'This is one of the great ones,'" explains the star of such turkeys as "I Know Who Killed Me" and "Just My Luck." "Like, what is the great film that I will tell my children about? I'm still going to tell them about the old films, the Hitchcock films. And people my age don't even know who those people are. I can't even have a conversation with most people of my generation about that, because they'd be like, 'OK, she's a freak. Something's wrong with her.'"
Meanwhile, it seems Lohan was in no mood for a conversation -- about film or anything else -- when she hit Los Angeles hot spot Apple Lounge on Tuesday night with a girlfriend and an assistant but sans Ronson, says E! News.
"She seemed kind of indifferent, emotionless," recalls a spywitness. "It was definitely apparent her friends were trying to cheer her up. It looked to be a 'first night back out on the town' sort of thing."
Lindsay, who took to her blog on Monday to deny breakup reports, was spotted with Sam on Wednesday as they exited the DJ's house, but they ignored shutterbug-lobbed questions about the state of their relationship.
That same day, Lohan took a break from all her hard work to go on a paparazzi-documented shopping trip to Burberry and Barneys in Beverly Hills.