More important dating tips to be happy

Expand your social circle
Looking to amp up your love life? Then it’s time to expand your social circle. Why? Basically, it’s the law of probabilities. The more people you know, the more you’ll mingle, and the more likely you are to meet The One (or at least someone fun to date).

But how exactly does one go about shifting gears from homebody to too-popular-to-stay-at-home? To answer that question, we culled advice from dating and networking experts on some fabulous ways to meet, greet and get out there! Read on for their simple strategies.

Join a same-sex social group
“Join a networking or social group or a sports team that isn’t coed,” suggests Love Coach Rinatta Paries of Fix Your Love Life. Why the same-sex connection? Well, women and men know men and women whom they are not dating but who may be great for you to date. “Once you create new social friendships, the people in your group will be happy to set you up on many dates with other people they know,” says Paries. “It may be a sibling, cousin, neighbor, a business associate or someone else they run across who immediately makes them think of you.” In other words, making new same-sex friends can lead to love connections you would never have made otherwise.

Keep business cards handy
How many times have you met someone nice in an unexpected place but had no easy way to suggest connecting again? It happens! And then later you kick yourself for not just saying, “Hey, should we get a coffee sometime or something?”

Here’s a really easy solution to avoid those missed social opportunities. If you’re looking to meet your potential match, always, always, always keep a business/contact card with you (in your pocket, purse, wallet, or whatever). “I’ve met interesting people while waiting at the vet’s office,” says networking expert Ronna Lichtenberg, author of Pitch Like a Girl and founder of www.clearpeakcommunications.com. “You never know… you could end up meeting Mr. or Ms. Right over a possible pet adoption!”

Feel uneasy about giving out a card with all your private info to strangers? Print a version with just your first name and an email address. You’ll find that whipping out a card is a lot easier than fumbling for a pen and scribbling down a phone number on an old receipt.

Do things you love
If you’re single, you’ve probably been told to join activities where you are likely to meet other single people, whether or not you are interested in the pursuit involved. FYI, people can see through activity posers. They’ll know the subject at hand isn’t really your cup of tea, and you’ll just wind up looking shallow.

A better bet? Forget about doing what everyone else is doing, and focus instead on what you dig! “You need to spend time doing the things you love so when you see someone that you are attracted to in that setting, you will have plenty to talk about,” suggests dating guru David Wygant, founder of www.davidwygant.com. “You want to meet someone who shares the same passions, and the best places to do that are where you are enjoying yourself. So pick four things you love to do and pursue them.”

Call upon classmate connections
OK, even if you weren’t valedictorian, class jock or on the prom court, you’d be amazed how reconnecting with the past can expand your future. There is just something about those old flames, school cliques and even enemies that can add spice to your adult life (plus, if these people saw you with braces or feathered hair, well… then they are likely to accept you now as well!).

You might also want to check out classmates.com or facebook.com. With just a little sleuthing, you might suddenly find that the cutie who sat in front of you in biology actually lives near you now.

Go outside your generation
Who says Gen X, Y, Z and whatever-other-letters can’t mix? Too many people tend to narrow their social circle to their demographic group. A better bet? Strive to be cross-generational! “Don’t limit yourself to meeting people your own age,” says Lichtenberg. “Everyone has families, and I have heard more than one story about moms, aunts and siblings engineering meetings that turned into marriages.”

Attend seminars
Looking for meaningful relationships? You might want to skip the bar. Though it does happen on occasion that a cocktail leads to happily-ever-after, you might find more people who are interested in something more at seminars and self-betterment workshops.

“People at personal-growth workshops and at seminars are typically more interested in connecting and creating friendships,” says Paries. “You may meet your mate, or you may meet someone who becomes one of your closest friends and becomes instrumental in you meeting your mate. Also, in the process, you will learn to improve the quality of your life and relationships.”

Practice sharing your friends
It’s a pretty good bet that if you really, really like a friend of yours, you’ll probably like at least a few of your friend’s friends as well. For that reason, it’s not a bad idea to invite friends to bring a pal to something you’re doing, even as simple as getting coffee. “It’s OK to say, ‘I want to meet more people like you because I think you’re great,’” says Lichtenberg. “People you like will know other people you’ll like.”

Finally, get in the habit of following up with any new potential friends you make. “There are too many people we meet and kind of like but don’t have a ‘system’ for following up—it can be as simple as emailing people like that the next day,” says Lichtenberg. “However, the more people you know, the more people who will have the chance to know about you.” In other words, go forth and get social. Your love life may thank you!

How to be most sought after profile online and impress readers

When writing our online profiles, too many of us spend too much time talking about our ideal match. You know, what they’d look like, what their personality would be like, their favorite book, movie, ice-cream flavor and so forth.

But those reading your profile want to know more about you—because they’re the ones doing the shopping. This means you’ll be more successful attracting the right people if you spend a bit of time and energy selling yourself, awkward as that may sound. Don’t feel comfortable blowing your own horn? Realise there are those who want to be with someone just like you if you spend more profile time selling yourself than advertising for someone else. Here’s how:
1. Get over yourself
The first step is seeing yourself differently, counsels professional story-teller, Catherine Conant. That will necessarily steer you clear of the same old generic language. “We tend to find refuge in generic language that allows us to be ‘one of a type’ instead of staking our rightful place as a person of genuine and unique value,” she says. Ask friends to describe what sets you apart from others. Then play off what they say to come up with your own vision of yourself.

2. Write your own story
The best way to start is to write a paragraph or two about yourself as a “test drive” before you tackle your profile. Says Conant: “Your story should illustrate something of who you are and what you hold important,” and getting it down on paper will help you get at the “essence of you” that you want to communicate. For instance, says Conant, “you might write, ‘My grandfather was a really important person in my life. I watched him struggle his whole life, but he never said a bad word about anyone. He loved to make us laugh and I watched him do hundreds of small acts of kindness without expecting anything in return. I think he was one of the most important teachers I ever had.’ Without taking credit for anything,” she points out, “you are stating something insightful about what you’re offering in a relationship.” You can then shape and edit that insight to work in your profile.

3. Sell, don’t advertise
“I was so busy focusing on what I wanted in a woman — a love of sports, no neediness, a desire to have kids — that I didn’t give a lot of clues about who I was as a potential mate,” says Wayne Robbins. That changed when his sister enumerated the good qualities of a woman she wanted to set him up with. “It hit me like a tonne of bricks that she never said one thing about what the woman wanted in me,” he recalls. “She was telling me the things she thought I would appreciate about her. After that I redid my profile to focus more on my good qualities, versus what I was seeking.” A few weeks later, he got an email from a woman he’s been dating now for over six months.

4. Stand out
So many people try to be everything to everyone, “the surest sign of insecurity,” notes branding expert Rob Frankel, the author of The Revenge of Brand X. You want to appear uniquely qualified and confident. “Sign on to your singles service as someone of the opposite sex and look at the people competing with you. You’ll be amazed at how many women and men say the same thing as the people right next to them. Then do exactly what they don’t do,” says Frankel, so you’ll stand out.

5. Extend the quality to your headline
Your headline is like your profile’s hand shake. It makes — or breaks — the first impression. So it needs to be high-quality, too. “Headlines speak volumes about you, perhaps beyond what you realise,” points out Mary Jo Fay, the author of When Your “Perfect Partner” Goes Perfectly Wrong. “You want to avoid things like ‘Oh-So-Lonely’ or “Captain Thigh Biter.’ I’ve really seen those, and they bring a lot of negative baggage.”

Yes, it takes time and energy and honesty to write a profile that really works well for you. The process may feel a little weird at first, but the results are worth it, Conant says. “To honestly know and claim your own gifts is to have a great advantage.” And, when you’re dating online, it could be what brings you into contact with your special someone.

Tips of dating ,and how to get asked out for a date

I was recently talking to a friend (one who’s never had any trouble meeting men) and was stunned when she said she had never been asked out on a date. She’s had booty calls, hooked up at parties and even had a couple of boyfriends, but never has any guy asked her out on a real date. And when I asked around, I realised that her situation is not so rare. Why is it that some women get asked out all the time and others rarely or not at all? Here, experts offer insight on just that topic. So dust off your dating shoes, try these tips, and get ready to be asked out. Tip 1: Insist on the best. So, there’s a guy you like, and you’re kind of seeing him—when he texts at the last minute and wants to hang out. You wish he’d ask you out for real, but you don’t say anything to him about it. Newsflash: He likes you, and if you go along with the texting tactic, he’ll keep thinking you’re fine with it. So why would he do the extra work to call you? You don’t have to be high-maintenance to let a guy know how to treat you. “If you settle for less or expect less, you will get less,” says Vanessa Marsot, a licensed family therapist. Stand up for what you want. You may have to say no to that next booty call, but if you hold out for what you want, you will actually get it.

Tip 2: Rid him of rejection fears. Having a guy you don’t know start talking to you can be nerve-racking—What’s he after? Is he into me? you wonder. And while they may seem clueless, men pick up on it when our defenses go up. But instead of interpreting it as a sign that we’re nervous, they think we’re looking for the nearest exit. “Guys hate rejection,” says Steve Santagati, author of The MANual. “Our egos are a lot more fragile than women think.” Only the bravest guy will pursue a woman if there’s a chance he’ll be shot down, so let him know you’re totally interested. To put his mind at ease, smile when he suggests an activity or movie and say something like, “I keep meaning to try/see that, but I don’t have anyone to go with.” It sets him up seamlessly to ask you out. Remember, guys aren’t big on subtlety, so what you think of as so obvious will just seem like a relief to him. Tip 3: Keep him talking. Another obstacle to old-fashioned courtship is when a conversation loses momentum. Instead of smiling their way through an awkward silence, many men take that pause to be a woman’s way of saying, “I can’t wait to get rid of you.” So think of three good, creative questions you can ask in the event that someone you’re interested in starts talking to you. For example: Where were you born? (Good start.)Where would you like to travel that you’ve never been before? (Better.)Wanna have a thumb war? (Home run!) Asking questions will show even the most timid man that you’re interested and keep him talking until he asks you out—or at least asks for your number. Tip 4: Give him a preview. You don’t have to ask a guy out to be the one to initiate contact. Instead, suggest plans and think of it as a “pre-date”… a date to see if you want to go on a date. You can figure out if you’d even be interested in the person, and you get to pick the location and time. Do something casual like a walk or lunch. You get to see each other with your defenses down, and once you’ve hung out in a friendly way, he’ll have the motivation (because he’s seen how hot you are) — and comfort (he knows you’re up for spending time with him) — to schedule something more romantic. You don’t have to make the first move, but a pre-date gives him an excellent opportunity to do so. Tip 5: Practice, practice, practice. Making seamless conversation and dating the right way may seem impossibly foreign, but the more you do it, the more naturally it will come. “A date may not be with the man of your dreams, but it’s practice, and once you’re in the zone, it’s easy to stay there,” says Anna David, the relationship expert on G4’s Attack of the Show! and the author of Party Girl. So practice getting asked out, and practice dating. Practice saying yes when you’re invited to things. You may have an awkward pre-date with someone who isn’t right for you. That’s OK—no, actually, it’s great! Practice asking questions even if you’re not interested in dating that particular person. Most important, practice saying no to people who aren’t giving you what you are looking for. Soon, the only guys in your orbit will be the ones who do ask you out, and you’ll wonder why you ever needed this article!